Sunday, October 3, 2010

Beyond Iron Man

So, Raytheon is working on version 2 of their exoskeleton suit. This is a hydraulic powered metallic frame that a soldier can wear like a suit, and perform superhuman feats of strength. The buzz from the technogeeks is, "Geewhiz! Just like Iron Man!"

The plan is that the military will have these suits to use in the field in three to five years, with a autonomous suit in five to ten years. (Since the suit is powered by hydraulics, pipes must be run to a large generator/compressor). Now, the stupid bonehead intention is that these be used for lifting/loading stuff and/or war fighting capabilities.

Of course, I'm betting  the marketing boys at Raytheon realize that the real market for these suits (a non-military version) is for the handicapped/infirm/obese/elderly crowd. I mean, you can probably produce 2-3 million for the armed forces, but 200-300 million for the world's mobility challenged.

Think of those hover chair commericals where they say you can go to see the Statue of Liberty or the Grand Canyon, now perhaps update it with a Glenn Beckian "Clydie Clyde" hateful morning zoo voice taunting grandma that "Yeah, but you can't climb the steps in your hoverchair!".

Although, I'm sure they will present it in a more friendly version.

And speaking of which (the taunt), who is the woman who does the poisonous green gossipy bitch voice in all those negative political ads? It's the same woman's voice, all the time, I swear.

"What do you for a living my dear?"
"I'm the venomous cunt voiceover in paid political advertisements".
"Well, I hope it pays well!"

Oh, it does, it does.


  1. Doesn't the military have enough equipment around camp to do the lifting without this type of contraption ??

  2. I think this would be usefull to underwater salvage guys. I mean, its much easier to move huge girders if you have a magic siut....

  3. Nah, I'm pretty sure the biggest draw will be fat people. Especically if they can run amok and karate chop shit at Walmart.

  4. Walmart will probably get a cheap version made in China...