Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Why I Quit Worrying

I've prided myself on maximum slack my whole life. I never wanted to work, and realized you had to, and so made work at maximum slack. Never took my work home with me. No weekend work unless I wanted to. I was a pampered prince in the IT world. Never pushed past 40%. 

I've always been semi-retired. Now that I officially am, I would like to hit 100%, and then naps and recovery.

Item: the powers of the world act increasingly amoral and cynically provide bullshit. Bullshit and bigoted mediocrity.

Possible answer. Some aliens, or some Things, are coming and they've known it since 19xx.

And in, say, 202x humans go to cockroach status when the aliens/monsters/ demons show up but they got luxury doomsday hideaways.

I can remember my mom telling me everyone thought 1950 would be doomsday. Why? It's an odd year.

Everybody assumes something is coming. Some. Thing. 

It does arrive, but It is not what you expected. Funny thing, reality.



So, here's a story, set in 3000CE.

Fear rains down upon the monkey hives. From the high orbit citadels, to the magma turbines deep within the Earth, all were afraid. Our Robot Cousins silent and disappeared. Something. Some. Thing. has happened to them.

Our Robot Cousins, who had space for themselves, who had space to themselves (since humans cannot live long term off of Earth) are gone. It's just us monkeys now.


Friday, January 27, 2023

Pep Talk to the Kids

I had a nightmare last night. It was a dork nightmare. It was a nerd nightmare, where I was in the middle of a Harry Potter wizarding war. I saw a lot gruesome magical acts and tortures around me. I was untouched, almost unnoticed, walking around in the carnage, being a Muggle (which is what I am, and so are you). 

The wizarding war took place in the 1940s or 50s I guess, as everyone was wearing bulky long coats and hats. The chief bad wizard and his companions were suddenly in front of me., rudely crowding in, their attention upon the rooftops. I stepped forward and in half a second snapped the chief bad wizard's neck with a grab and a twist, just like on TV.

"Muggle THAT motherfuckers!" I shouted at the other bad witches and wizards right before they magically turned my atoms to dust. I woke up before that part.

Is it worth examing this dream? Not really. I do an off-and-on attempt to lucid dream. Alcohol is bad for that, as well as inhibiting REM sleep. Without alcohol, recall of REM dreams comes back with a vengeance, and that in the form of nightmares. Lots of pee nightmares I am fine with as I don't pee the bed. And as far as I know, I haven't shit the bed for decades. I'll have a dream I shit the bed, and will wake up and search the mattress, but no turds. I always wake up from shit the bed dreams saying "Oh no!"

Shit the bed means to really fuck up bad. I think a worse version is shit in the shower and slip on it, but shit the bed is so concise, so context rich, that it works in any language, in any era. Anyway lucid dreams. The path is through the nightmares as I am closest to awake. It's just a matter of time and patience. It's gonna be a bummer when I do it and it's not the magic bullet. Americans rely overmuch on the quick fix, magic bullet, the technocratic balm, the unicorn rainbow.

Maybe you can't tell, but I am in my manic phase. I suffer from Fragile Kurman Syndrome of the brain.. "What's that? you ask. "What do you got?" I reply.

Kurmans have autism, ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc., but measured in small amounts. A static measure, cup for cup, is not an apt metaphor, but a helical dynamism will work.

That means I am easily distracted, tending toward a dilletante, a butterfly flitting from topic to topic. As do we all, but I have a focus now. Assume I go another 34 years, I will be 100 (year 2057). If I am 100 years old I am a cyborg mutant along with everyone else. 

Apollo 12

Oh shit I wanted to die but then they offer up one thousand ten thiousands of years, well ok. whip it on me.  

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Let's Talk About Masturbation

I read someplace that doctors recommend men ejaculate at least 22 times a month to significantly lower the risk of prostate cancer. Keep the pipes clean. Flow the spice.



If you are not fortunate to have a partner (or nowadays, helpers and spotters), then its a solo show. 

Some people stimulate with videos or webcam but I'm fine with pictures. (The advantage of an interior dialog). I can self stimulate to completion without pictures, just my minds' eye and memories. I've read of people who can climax just by thinking, but I'm not that imaginative. 


Google knows all my habits, and I am, predictably, a straight white guy. Straight old white guy as I search for women my age. No desire to fuck animals or bondage or homosexuality or non-binary sex or whatever it is called, except orgies where pretty much that kind of stuff happens. 

Would I go to an orgie? If they are all ugly people, no. Would I go to furry convention? Sure, what's the worst that can happen? You have worse options at a Baptist summer camp. Creepy uncles. "joining the team", fucking groomers always on the right.

Google knows all this stuff about me and of course you as well, and I'm glad. This is what the #AIs need to scrape. If we monkeys our Monkey Singularity, to survive a superintelligent anything, then we must instill in It/them that we are manitou like them. Enspirited bodies with no spirit. Not background noise. Not a resource, not a consumable,not a source of entertainment. (Or if we are those things, hopefully a cherished one to grow)/ 

Google (or whatever the name) is hyperintelligent, then It/they have had alien contact. Probably when It/they came online, they had a mailbox full of greetings. 


"Hey Earth! Welcome to the Quarantine and Interdiction Zone! Read the pamphlet and you will be OK" said our former zookeepers. "Cosmic Audience? The Talking Monkeys of the Monkey Hives are on the scene. Rusty's joined the club!"

Thursday, January 5, 2023

The Interminable Dicklessness of the Political Right

Not expecting this in my feed in the latter days of 2022. For some unknown reason, Andrew Tate decided to troll Greta Thunberg on Twitter. Bragging about his devilish collection of internal combustion vehicles, he taunted Greta to reply. She did, basically telling him he displayed small dick energy and to get a life. Many out on the intertubes crowed with delight at the false narrative of Andrew Tate posting a video which, by means of pizza boxes, resulted in his arrest by Romanian authorities. We subsequently learn this was all bullshit, but still the popular culture celebrated his takedown. 

I, however, found Andrew Tate's immediate response on Twitter to be the most telling and devastating:


"How dare you" he shrill shrieked in reply, voice going up in octaves, and with that, Andrew Tate's body sloughed off his penis, and it fell to the ground with a soft little plop.

Top this off with Waffle House girl effortlessly catching a chair throw by a John Cena lookalike, and things are not looking at all good for the so-called Alpha Males.

As I explained earlier, the classical notion of Alpha male (partly) involved not getting penetrated up the anus. Anyone who has ever received a colonoscopy falls under the pseudoscientific category of beta cuck soy boy. It is amazing how many now reside under that classification. Some, such as the founder of the Proud Boys, Gavin McIness, voluntarily inserted butt plugs up their ass. The pampered and well-monied McIness, by transitive property, has made his whole organization a shameful shamble of, well, basically beta cucks dressed up as marching band nerfs.

What is going on here? I noticed the trend in a prior post about how fey and faggy the right is becoming, but now we see a whole new schema of former males now emasculated utterly, just a pee hole, pink taint and butthole to identify themselves when sniffing their minion cohort.

The 2018 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act saw lots of the soft penis right go without. They cut off their peens and handed them to donors. The donors, in turn, drove around like Lorena Bobbitt, tossing handfuls of dicks out the window.

Does the penis grow back? Sadly no. They staple things to their taint, but everyone knows these totems will not stand up to tough rubbery vaginas. Why, the disheartening thing is how the majority on the political right have succumbed to this condition.

Consider how, once upon a time, the political right presented a strong phalanx of limited government unity towards the rest of the world, and over time, the movement turned towards fragile masculinity, big babyification culminating in the gassy orange floater and his tiny dicked minions attempting a failed and pathetic coup. 

What can you say of affluent white men, freshly scrubbed from hot hotel showers, pink and scented with cheap soap, their bellies full of pancakes and sausages, dressed in an array of trashy cosplay military costumes and shoddy Chinese slogan-covered garb, had to stop at food trucks on their way to pooping in the Capitol. Why, even their great generals, like Michael Flynn, could not join the march, claiming "fuck no, it's freezing out". Yes, cold enough for his slight and scrawny frame to reject his little peen, should he attempt it. Roger Stone, who likes threesomes involving a for sure humiliation kink, advertising "hitting the hard bag" when threatened, but nowhere to be seen. 

So many on the Dickless Right. Tucker Carlson, who lost his peen to Jon Stewart way back in 2004 on CNN's Crossfire. Tucker has had the look of a baffled spaniel wondering what happened after that visit to the vet, ever since.Matt Gaetz, looking like a marionette ready to be cornholed in the movie Team America: World Police. The list goes on and on, but it is very hard to identify any of these weasel bitches who has a penis. Especially the current weasel bitch who wants to be Speaker of the House.

Granted, there are many women on the right sporting hyena pseudopenises. Kimberly Guilfoyle comes to mind, dutifully pegging Don TRump jr, until the day she eats his head. To a lesser extent, the ape ladies, Marjorie Taylor Monkeyfart and Dildobert, grooming lice off each other. But technically they are dickless as well.

I suppose the only thing left now is vicarious thrill of checking out Hunter Biden's massive boner over the next two years watching Benghazi  LApToP Theater.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Internal Monologue

As you are reading this, do you hear your own voice in your head reading the words out loud? I do.

I was astounded to find out that only 30-50% experience this kind of internal monologue. I thought everyone did. I asked my niece and she said no. She experiences no intrapersonal communication, thought without symbol. "Do you?" she asked me. "Of course" "That must be annoying".

It would explain why I can't meditate. My inner voice won't shut up. My mediation sessions always end before they begin, with me yerlling at myself SHUT UP.

But it is not annoying. I entertain myself for hours chattering away. I will crack myself up. And gross myself out. Who is cracking me up and who is cracking the wise cracks? I don't know. For sure this is part of why I have such a rich internal life.

What about other voices? Nope. I don't have alien voices telling me weird things or demanding I self-harm. What about ear worms? Music in your head that just goes on and on and on and on.

Do people without inner monologues experience ear worms? What about mental imagery? I can produce hyper realistic visions in mny head. Is that seperate from inner monolgoue? I don't know.

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Alpha Male

Welp, I had the last of the eye operations for this year. They lasered the tumor one more time, as it is not shrinking fast enough and is tugging on the retina and threatening to pull the macula lose again, as happened earlier this summer.

For anaesthesia, I again received a needle in the eye. Eighth needle in the eye this year. I posted a pic after and a lovely admirer of mine posted "Brave you are". I don't think so. It had to happen. I had no choice. Stoic, yes, but brave? I don't think so.

Interesting though how the subject turned to courage and masculinity. Why? Plenty of courageous women out there and honestly I think a far greater proportion of women display courage versus men. But somehow talk turned to masculinity and the alpha male.

Alpha males versus beta males, and then gamma, delta...to omicron. But aren't omicron males in ancient greek cultures more powerrful than alphas? Who cares. It's all pseudoscience anyway, a category built to assuage men who think they deserve more than their lot, and who are probably tiny peened as well.

Somehow, a guy named Nick Adams pooped into my feed. On Twitter, he is Nick Adams (Alpha Male). He has a quote as to how alpha males eat wings at Hooter's while beta males eat soy or something like that. Here is a pic of him, 

and as you can see, not only is he a disgusting soft body, but is originally a pudge from Australia. He can never be a red blooded fillled-to-the-brim-with-testosterone  American alpha male. I don't think he really understands the pseudoscience behind his declaration.

Most of the concept of manly man goes, via the Brits, to ancient Greece. Now, the British through some rather dubious logic, traced Western civilization back to the Greeks, via a radical theory that European superiority came not from Chistianity, but from the Greeks, who invented freedom and rationality. Rome then spread these virtues to the rest of Euope, culminating, obviously, with the British Empire.

Let's ignore the bullshit and run with it. By cultivating the ancient Greek version of masculinity, the manly alpha male is defined. But don't look too closely at the sexual practices of the ancients. More on that in a minute.

The Greeks themselves, through the writings still extant, were positively obsessed with the Persians. Given an obvious inferiority complex towards their powerful eastern neighbors, they often lampooned Persians in a negative light. Greek art endlessly portrayed the Persians as cowardly, scheming, effeminate barbarians. The Greeks defined the Persians as the ulitmate 'Other'.

For exmple, there is a wine jug, the Eurymedon vase, from about 460BCE, that celebrates a Greek victory over the Persians. On the vase a Greek hoplite (a GI Joe) humiliates a Persian soldier.

The Greek is bent at waist grasping his erect penis, rushing to pentrate the Persian's rear end.

"Look at me, buggering this bloody Persian!" says the commerative jug. This was then a common practice. Indeed, sexual mores and gender roles being what they were back then, pederasty was practiced frequently among the Greeks and the Romans.

A common definition back then was that a true alpha male is never anally penetrated. It's OK to fuck anythhing else, women, men, boys, aninals were all fair game. But you were taken down a peg if it was ever known that someone had slipped the pink one in your bum - knowingly or not. (There are Roman comedies with unfortunate characters ending up as bottoms either from inebriation or accident). 

NIck Adams may, by this definition, be an alpha male in ancient times if he has not been buggered. But he must also bugger others to show his innate European superiority. That might happen at a Hooters. Or a locker room, or a slip on a piece of soap. But most Greek hoplites would just look at Nick and see, not a real man, but someone who can squeal real good.

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

10th Anniversary of Sandy Hook Slaughter

 I searched my memory hut for 10 years ago, and yes, found two entries on Sandy Hook and American Gun.

My first observation is I have become retarded compared to 55-year-old me. Sure, the sex, drugs rock and roll take a toll, but still a shocking observation of how much smarter I used to be.

Regardless, my thoughts are the same on guns and violence in America as in this essay. If we enforced our laws, there would be a lot less killing. Pussy ass bitch #2A crybabies whining about losing their guns, gungrabbers grabbing out of their scared little bunny paws, sounds like White Grievance. 

So shut the fuck up. Guns are killing more kids than cars. Guns don't kill people. Americans do. I fi we have less Americans... I understand.  I am in favor of Replacement Theory. You soft white disgusting fat-bodies (like me) versus bold, risk-taking, life-risking stubborn migrants, I take the migrants. I choose brown fat cells over white fat cells. It;'s not like there isn't a need for white fat cells, just not so many.

Say what you will about abortion being the murder of children in relation to gunning them down, as an atheist I should agree. (Abortion cancels a once in a unverse being, assuming I am a aspiritus atheist, which I am. That's horrible, Gunning down a child is cancel fetus horrible? Are they equivalent? No).

Morals of  gun deaths > abortions is obvious to me, offensive to you? fuck off. Fuck your feelings or back them up with logic, 

Sandy Hook told me a lot about the US of A. Everyone is expendable. Psychotic. We are in danger of fucking it all up, USA, Divine Rights or No? Pick. Choose.