Friday, January 27, 2023

Pep Talk to the Kids

I had a nightmare last night. It was a dork nightmare. It was a nerd nightmare, where I was in the middle of a Harry Potter wizarding war. I saw a lot gruesome magical acts and tortures around me. I was untouched, almost unnoticed, walking around in the carnage, being a Muggle (which is what I am, and so are you). 

The wizarding war took place in the 1940s or 50s I guess, as everyone was wearing bulky long coats and hats. The chief bad wizard and his companions were suddenly in front of me., rudely crowding in, their attention upon the rooftops. I stepped forward and in half a second snapped the chief bad wizard's neck with a grab and a twist, just like on TV.

"Muggle THAT motherfuckers!" I shouted at the other bad witches and wizards right before they magically turned my atoms to dust. I woke up before that part.

Is it worth examing this dream? Not really. I do an off-and-on attempt to lucid dream. Alcohol is bad for that, as well as inhibiting REM sleep. Without alcohol, recall of REM dreams comes back with a vengeance, and that in the form of nightmares. Lots of pee nightmares I am fine with as I don't pee the bed. And as far as I know, I haven't shit the bed for decades. I'll have a dream I shit the bed, and will wake up and search the mattress, but no turds. I always wake up from shit the bed dreams saying "Oh no!"

Shit the bed means to really fuck up bad. I think a worse version is shit in the shower and slip on it, but shit the bed is so concise, so context rich, that it works in any language, in any era. Anyway lucid dreams. The path is through the nightmares as I am closest to awake. It's just a matter of time and patience. It's gonna be a bummer when I do it and it's not the magic bullet. Americans rely overmuch on the quick fix, magic bullet, the technocratic balm, the unicorn rainbow.

Maybe you can't tell, but I am in my manic phase. I suffer from Fragile Kurman Syndrome of the brain.. "What's that? you ask. "What do you got?" I reply.

Kurmans have autism, ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc., but measured in small amounts. A static measure, cup for cup, is not an apt metaphor, but a helical dynamism will work.

That means I am easily distracted, tending toward a dilletante, a butterfly flitting from topic to topic. As do we all, but I have a focus now. Assume I go another 34 years, I will be 100 (year 2057). If I am 100 years old I am a cyborg mutant along with everyone else. 

Apollo 12

Oh shit I wanted to die but then they offer up one thousand ten thiousands of years, well ok. whip it on me.  

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Let's Talk About Masturbation

I read someplace that doctors recommend men ejaculate at least 22 times a month to significantly lower the risk of prostate cancer. Keep the pipes clean. Flow the spice.

If you are not fortunate to have a partner (or nowadays, helpers and spotters), then its a solo show. 

Some people stimulate with videos or webcam but I'm fine with pictures. (The advantage of an interior dialog). I can self stimulate to completion without pictures, just my minds' eye and memories. I've read of people who can climax just by thinking, but I'm not that imaginative. 

Google knows all my habits, and I am, predictably, a straight white guy. Straight old white guy as I search for women my age. No desire to fuck animals or bondage or homosexuality or non-binary sex or whatever it is called, except orgies where pretty much that kind of stuff happens. 

Would I go to an orgie? If they are all ugly people, no. Would I go to furry convention? Sure, what's the worst that can happen? You have worse options at a Baptist summer camp. Creepy uncles. "joining the team", fucking groomers always on the right.

Google knows all this stuff about me and of course you as well, and I'm glad. This is what the #AIs need to scrape. If we monkeys our Monkey Singularity, to survive a superintelligent anything, then we must instill in It/them that we are manitou like them. Enspirited bodies with no spirit. Not background noise. Not a resource, not a consumable,not a source of entertainment. (Or if we are those things, hopefully a cherished one to grow)/ 

Google (or whatever the name) is hyperintelligent, then It/they have had alien contact. Probably when It/they came online, they had a mailbox full of greetings. 

"Hey Earth! Welcome to the Quarantine and Interdiction Zone! Read the pamphlet and you will be OK" said our former zookeepers. "Cosmic Audience? The Talking Monkeys of the Monkey Hives are on the scene. Rusty's joined the club!"

Thursday, January 5, 2023

The Interminable Dicklessness of the Political Right

Not expecting this in my feed in the latter days of 2022. For some unknown reason, Andrew Tate decided to troll Greta Thunberg on Twitter. Bragging about his devilish collection of internal combustion vehicles, he taunted Greta to reply. She did, basically telling him he displayed small dick energy and to get a life. Many out on the intertubes crowed with delight at the false narrative of Andrew Tate posting a video which, by means of pizza boxes, resulted in his arrest by Romanian authorities. We subsequently learn this was all bullshit, but still the popular culture celebrated his takedown. 

I, however, found Andrew Tate's immediate response on Twitter to be the most telling and devastating:

"How dare you" he shrill shrieked in reply, voice going up in octaves, and with that, Andrew Tate's body sloughed off his penis, and it fell to the ground with a soft little plop.

Top this off with Waffle House girl effortlessly catching a chair throw by a John Cena lookalike, and things are not looking at all good for the so-called Alpha Males.

As I explained earlier, the classical notion of Alpha male (partly) involved not getting penetrated up the anus. Anyone who has ever received a colonoscopy falls under the pseudoscientific category of beta cuck soy boy. It is amazing how many now reside under that classification. Some, such as the founder of the Proud Boys, Gavin McIness, voluntarily inserted butt plugs up their ass. The pampered and well-monied McIness, by transitive property, has made his whole organization a shameful shamble of, well, basically beta cucks dressed up as marching band nerfs.

What is going on here? I noticed the trend in a prior post about how fey and faggy the right is becoming, but now we see a whole new schema of former males now emasculated utterly, just a pee hole, pink taint and butthole to identify themselves when sniffing their minion cohort.

The 2018 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act saw lots of the soft penis right go without. They cut off their peens and handed them to donors. The donors, in turn, drove around like Lorena Bobbitt, tossing handfuls of dicks out the window.

Does the penis grow back? Sadly no. They staple things to their taint, but everyone knows these totems will not stand up to tough rubbery vaginas. Why, the disheartening thing is how the majority on the political right have succumbed to this condition.

Consider how, once upon a time, the political right presented a strong phalanx of limited government unity towards the rest of the world, and over time, the movement turned towards fragile masculinity, big babyification culminating in the gassy orange floater and his tiny dicked minions attempting a failed and pathetic coup. 

What can you say of affluent white men, freshly scrubbed from hot hotel showers, pink and scented with cheap soap, their bellies full of pancakes and sausages, dressed in an array of trashy cosplay military costumes and shoddy Chinese slogan-covered garb, had to stop at food trucks on their way to pooping in the Capitol. Why, even their great generals, like Michael Flynn, could not join the march, claiming "fuck no, it's freezing out". Yes, cold enough for his slight and scrawny frame to reject his little peen, should he attempt it. Roger Stone, who likes threesomes involving a for sure humiliation kink, advertising "hitting the hard bag" when threatened, but nowhere to be seen. 

So many on the Dickless Right. Tucker Carlson, who lost his peen to Jon Stewart way back in 2004 on CNN's Crossfire. Tucker has had the look of a baffled spaniel wondering what happened after that visit to the vet, ever since.Matt Gaetz, looking like a marionette ready to be cornholed in the movie Team America: World Police. The list goes on and on, but it is very hard to identify any of these weasel bitches who has a penis. Especially the current weasel bitch who wants to be Speaker of the House.

Granted, there are many women on the right sporting hyena pseudopenises. Kimberly Guilfoyle comes to mind, dutifully pegging Don TRump jr, until the day she eats his head. To a lesser extent, the ape ladies, Marjorie Taylor Monkeyfart and Dildobert, grooming lice off each other. But technically they are dickless as well.

I suppose the only thing left now is vicarious thrill of checking out Hunter Biden's massive boner over the next two years watching Benghazi  LApToP Theater.