Bone Worms

If the USA were an abyssal ocean plain, the death of George Floyd was a whale carcass dropped on it. The bone worms have come out.

Not that the video, protests, and another martyrized black man who would have preferred not, coupled with a plague of anxiety, will trigger something big.

But all of a sudden surprise property is important.

This is civilization, Of course property is important. The radical new idea that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is still a little strange and magical sounding. Through that giant invisible beast called government or community or corporation. The collective monkey AI which we have enjoyed for ? how many years?

WWII? Doesn't matter. Point being we are expendable. I know I am a monkey drone and proudly serve the monkey hive. The problem is the objective function of our hive. We see superhuman stuff from our civilization, but don't see an emergent supersoul. We are stupidly used as property. When smartly used, we build rocket ships and nuclear reactors and hallucinogenic drugs that let us contact aliens in other dimensions.

That's the current psychosis. It's not an unreasonable one.

Treading Water

I had a dream I'm surrounded by big cats and there's a chain link fence I climb with razor wire on the top. On the other side of the fence is a big white tiger. A leopard starts climbing the fence.

"Well shit" I say and wake up.

I used to wake up happy. Not anymore. Not least for a while. No that's not true. I always wake up happy, but then circumstances express themselves.

And the circumstance is not helped by my own slow-wittedness. Birds should feed on my head.

I hope this isn't a case of becoming a gillman. See when you play recursive Titanic over and over, eventually some of the steerage and crew become gill people.

Hands hammered flat by rich people in life boats.

I can be a Johnny Gillman.

E = me * (Pascal's Wager) Squared

The problem of journals is you find out you wrote a better essay than this one in 2015.

You may correctly say Johnny applying ape logic to the unknown universe and I say yeah varily.

Because of course your existence can be parsed down to a imaginary plane.

Nevertheless we now have real consequences to this metaphysical exercise. I am an orphan.

I entertain psychosises (psychoses?) because I am autistic and can do that, The current psychosis is Let's Play Pascals Game.  As seen above, the question of divine and individual spirit is independent.

Me, personally can be classified as a Lazy Atheist in the Gusto. I am not ashamed of the time I wasted, because I can always go for the gusto. Any moment.

Wild Wild West is fun because it's also Ghost Town. Sound scary and fun. Also dangerous, which makes it a good candidate universe for our universe.

Mom's Gone

Mom passed this past Tuesday. She was put in hospice on Monday and did not linger. Was Good.

Not COVID, congestive heart failure which is just as slow and painful.

I got to see her but she was all drugged up. She could hear us. When I came in, I said "Hi Mom" and her head twitched and her eyes rolled like REM trying to open. I really so wanted to talk to her, but you get what you get. She was not waking up.

My baby brother was there at the hospice.

"Baby", ha. The weight was all on his broad shoulders. And my sister-in-law, his wife, a saint. A bitch saint, but a saint nonetheless. (No, I love my sis-in-law. I don't always like her, but I love her).

So, you always have guilt about someone's death. I left 20 minutes before she died.

Why wasn't I there? Same thing with Dad. Why wasn't I there?

But I was there, and with baby brother. Soon enough, we're giggling and laughing and making jokes and  storytelling like idiots over the dying body of my mother. Maybe Mom went "these doofuses are not going to stop this racket", so check-out time.

Or maybe she enjoyed it. The great thing, the dynamic, the experience I had with Mom is I--

Okay, so a cat has kittens and if the kittens grow up with the cat, then you got a bunch of cats. And the cats are friends. Or not.

I got to be old cat Mom's old cat friend. Which makes me think the reason dogs don't tear us apart limb from limb is they think we are cats. Or raccoons.

She died on Dad's birthday. 5/12

Now it's just us. Now I'm the old cat.

I should go into acting, because now I have a sure fire  set of memories to turn the waterworks on.

You read that and you say wow he made it about himself.

Well, I am my mother's son.

Boogaloo Bois

"There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals" - Homer Simpson

The shit-posting arm of the armed far-right are showing up at lockdown rallies and call themselves "boogaloo bois", advocating civil war and stirring up shit. They have chosen Hawaiian shirts as a signifier. And honestly, they keep sending out hints and clues which, well:

Boogaloo: co-opted from Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo, a 1984 movie where an evil developer (Peter MacLean) plans to demolish the community recreation center, the breakdance crew must breakdance to stop it.

Boi:  (plural: bois) is slang within LGBT and butch and femme communities for a person's sexual or gender identities. In some lesbian communities, there is an increasing acceptance of variant gender expression, as well as allowing people to identify as a boi. 

Redpilling: I know it's from the Matrix, a movie made by two transgender people, but in real life, a blue pill will get you a nice stiff lasting boner, and a red pill...? I'm assuming the opposite.

Pepe the Frog, now Groyper, mascots of the alt-right. Frogs and toad do not have penises.

I'm, not implying anything specific, but it sure looks like these Ken Dolls cosplaying as GI Joe are trying to tell us something about their nonbinary natures which does not suggest any serious machismo.

Göbekli Tepe Back in the News

You hear "ahead of its time". No, if your dating techniques are accurate, of it's time.

Gobekli Tepe a UNESCO site in Turkey, is at least 11,500 years old. It is Stonehenge before Stonehenge with many stones covered magnificent carvings of animals and people. And now we find out it is the tip of the iceberg. Many other structures there, geometrically arranged.

Why do we think people of the past dumb and feeble when they were our superiors in every way? 

I guess it goes to when you think people became people, because once we were people, it was a matter of accumulating knowledge. Well, that and not dying out.

Last I heard about Gobekli Tepe was a guy interpreted carvings on one stone as constellations in the sky. There's a vulture and a scorpion and a wolf pictured on a stone, corresponding to the constellations Scorpio, Leta, and Lupus. Not a bad idea considering we were once intimate with the sky. Plotting the constellations happened to yield a figure of 10,950BCE plus or minus 250 years!

Oh, and there is a headless guy depicted at the bottom of the stone.

Cool. Problem is Professor Oxford leapt to the conclusion that this recorded a cataclysmic event perhaps precipitating the Younger Dryas. But. Headless guy has a boner. So clearly he is Orion, and if you plot that into your astrolabe you get the year 2020, plus or minus 250 years*

You've got the Bottleneck. It's not fake. It's real. Humans almost went extinct 120,000 years ago or so. People blame it on catastrophe when it could have been plague or climate. It took a while for perhaps a few thousand to get back up in numbers. And once they do, they party.

That's my theory. Gobekli Tepe started out as a party. Party turns into a festival. Festival turns into a carnival, and then something went wrong. Called organization. Or Civilization. 

It started out great. Alcohol. Weed. Psychedelics for sure. Maybe even some type of speed. Feasts and orgies. Every year. For generations. And then it went Burning Man, and it sucked. And was abandonded, like a 1994 website.

Oh, also:

Plenty More Viruses For The Space Force

Living in a Teatard Paradise

I went into the college again today to lasercut PPE face shields.

Walking through the empty parking lots I noticed stickers on the light poles for the American Patriot Front, which turns out is a white supremacist anti-Semitic right wing group. No doubt to recrit students to the cause.

I defaced them all.

After I got home from volunteering, I noticed a sign on the street that said "Honk if you like QAnon".

QAnon is also a white supremacist anti-Semitic right wing group. I stopped and tore it down.

I'm noticing they are becoming increasingly bold, and why not? Cops beating black people for not wearing masks, then strolling though dense crowds of white people without masks. Black and latin groups dying of COVID-19 at a much higher rate than whites.

Of course all those right wingers think they are immune to consequence.

Then you got these shitty fuckholes demonstrating at state capitols, supposedly demanding an end to lockdowns, but really there just to stir shit up.

These are the exact same people (in some cases literally) as the Tea Party movement from ten years ago.

They aren't about small government and constitutional rights then or now. That was all bullshit. Interviews at the time  revealed teatards were just fine with big goverment - provided they kept getting their welfare. They were mad about immigrants taking a slice of "their" pie, and, of course, the black guy in the White House.

And now they got "their" retard in the White House, and the same group of ignorant bigots and fat lardy bags of bad skin coul not be happier. Throw in the possibility of looting and raping and lynching and bombing, and they are in paradise.