This photo is a fraud. Left side says 2011 but I'm pretty sure that was 2014. Right side reads 2021 but that's 2019. So I've aged ten years in five years and it feels like it.
And what a difference. The nose grows. The ears grow. The neck gets all turkey wattled. The belly bigger. Legs thinner. And... cancer.
That jelly in my right eye turned out to be a tumor. I joked, when I first had vision problems, that my right eye didn't like me and was trying to kill me. My right eye is trying to kill me.
A choroidal melanoma about 11mm in diameter, a pea sized horrid little thing right next to the optic nerve. To avoid microscopic invasion of the brain, the whole eye is gotta come out.
Idiot that I am, immediately started thinking about cool glass eyes. Eight Ball. Infinity. Target. Cat's Eye. Maybe LED lights. Bluetooth.
"Do you smoke, John?"
"I quit in 2009"
"How long before then?"
"Thirty five years"
"..."
Typically this would be a secondary tumor. I have a date with the oncologist later this week, and no doubt a body scan soon after.
Am I worried? Am I scared? Fuck yeah. But only because I lack information. If it turns out I'm a tumor riddled walking corpse. Well, the sex drugs rock'n'roll Vegas trip. Pack the blue pills. No redpilling allowed on my Vegas trip. And then the suffering until recovery or death.
But I've taken a lot of acid, and I know that no longer being is not that all bad.
Anyway, gentle reader, I'll let you know how it all goes.
Any suggestions for cool eye balls is welcome in the comments.
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