Friday, September 16, 2011

"Rick Perry believes being a Texan means being a right-wing blowhard"

I'm actually kind of indifferent to Texas, although, based upon my movie choices, I always figured Texas was extensively populated with Satanists (Race with the Devil), vampires (Near Dark), and cannibals (Texas Chain Saw Massacre). I also always figured Texans as a people whose tongues was deathly afraid of their teeth, based upon the way they talk.

That quote in the essay title? So says the Houston Chronicle. They're from Texas, so I suppose they'd know. My personal opinion is, despite being so successful in politics, Perry just comes across to me as an ignorant jackass. Haven't we had more than our fair share of presidents like that? Do we really need another one?

Funny thing about Texas, love it or hate it, it is definitely an integral part of American culture.

Some positive attributes about Texans: generous, polite, courteous, hospitable, friendly.

Some negative attributes about Texans: lazy, violent, uneducated, bigoted,... too numerous to mention, but basically a distillation of all white-trash behaviors, and "blowhard" seems to sum it all quite well.

So anyway, governors of Texas can name worthy outsiders 'honorary Texans'. If you follow this linked article to Mother Jones, you can see, at the end of article, a lot of people who have been named 'honorary Texans'. The currency of the tradition is that Rick Perry has honored people like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Sarah Palin. Well, blowhards all, so yeah, I guess the Houston Chronicle is on to something.

What I don't understand at all is why Pee Wee Herman isn't an honorary Texan.

I mean, the guy really did some heavy lifting in promoting Texas in his movie "Pee Wee's Big Adventure". I've got to wonder how much the tourism industry bounced for San Antonio after that movie? How many people went looking for the Alamo's basement after that?

Pee Wee Herman has been hosted by the Dallas Cowboys. He was treated better than Bush! Pee Wee Herman has been an honorary Muppet. Pee Wee Herman has been an honorary Marine. (Well, I guess that counts for more than an honorary Texan).

I think... I think I want a cowboy hat.


  1. To answer your questions...

    Haven't we had more than our fair share of presidents like that? Do we really need another one?

    Yes. No.

  2. More importantly, how'd you think I'd look in a cowboy hat?