Thursday, September 29, 2011

Are Volvo Drivers Assholes?

A guest editorial today from Eldest Brother. He has a complaint about Volvo drivers. I thought they were all hippie moms listening to NPR and such. But then, ah, true, there's the old saying about utopian social engineers:
"Scratch a hippie, find a Nazi"
A quick check of the global pulse suggests he may be on to something. Many hold the opinion that the biggest asshole drivers out there own BMWs, Mercedes Benzs, etc. with Volvos and Saabs up there in the ranks. Could it have something to with Volvos have a very high survival and safety rating? Could it be that shitty drivers are suggested towards these vehicles? Wow, that seems to be the idea when you look at the Urban Dictionary's take on Volvos. "Hey, look at that guy driving a Volvo. What an asshole!"

My understanding is that Volvo Station Wagons are now discontinued.

Hmm. It may have something to do with the fact that Volvo sold only 480 V50 Station Wagons in the US last year. That, and the fact that Volvo was sold by Ford to China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group in 2010. At any rate, here's Eldest Bro's take:
"Perhaps things are different for you in Northern Illinois, but here in Granola County of Northern California, it seems we are infested with self-righteous slow-pokes driving the ubiquitous Volvo wagon. Not the new sleek Ford-inspired ones either, but the traditional old boxy tanks. More often than not, you will find yourself trapped in the left lane behind one of these individuals whose speed is randomly varying between 56 and 62 mph and who is giving you disapproving looks in the rear view. It seems sometimes these people are "regulators" whose attitude is, I'm going fast enough, I'm going to keep the rest of you from speeding, so you should either back off or fuck off. My view: Hey, if you 're going to make yourself responsible for my behavior, maybe you'd like to pay my god damn cable bill, or figure out how to deal with my teenager, or actually make yourself useful in some fashion. OK, now I'm done".
Okay, speed vigilantes? And willing to inconvenience others in order to impose their version of reality. Yeah, I'd say that's an asshole. Kind of like Glenn Beck and the Tea Partiers.

Fuck those sanctimonious busybodies.


  1. considering that I drove a volvo for 25 years I might take issue with this. asshole drivers? personally I think they are the ones who tailgate, who zip in and out of narrow spaces, who cross three or four lanes at once on a diagonal going 90 miles an hour, who think they are so god-damned important that everyone else should just get the hell out of their way, who think that if they have to slow down for 5 minutes that the quality of their lives is going to be changed forever and who think it's their right to endanger everyone else on the road so they can make it to their destination 1 minute earlier.

  2. Well, your descriptive would be, in my experience, BMWs and Mercedes-es. Oh, and Porches.

  3. OK, I will have to jump in and clarify my remarks. Ellen, I have seen those you describe and those are assholes too. You might have noticed I prefaced my comments with "it might be different where you live". I don't drive any of those kinda fancy cars, I have a 13 yr old Ford with 150,000 miles on it -- considerably Less Nice than a Volvo wagon! But I try to get from A to B without having "karmic interactions" with all those whom I meet. I agree with your comments but those guys don't bug me as much for some reason. I typically get the hell out of their way so they can move on to their appointments with the CHP. What gets to me is people trying to bring me down to their level. Kind of like the Handicapper General in Welcome to the Monkey House. And I know this is a stereotype, like terrorists wearing turbans or Asian kids busting ass in school. But come drive my roads with me and you will see I stand by my observations.

  4. Actually, I should clarify. This certainly is not the most controversial topic on the planet, but it has apparently stirred some passions,

    I published Eldest's remarks without getting permission. As this was what would normally be called a private conservation, I apologize for making public what is an unreserved and unrestrained opinions expressed confidentially.

    I've heard many such opinions from pretty much everyone, and as such, Mr. Unknown, it is not you who should have to clarify, but me who should ask permissions in the future.