Tuesday, August 28, 2012

"You shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold"

Newt Gingrich has come out in favor of the gold standard. If there is one certain thing that civilized man knows, it is do the exact opposite of what Newt Gingrich proposes.

Following the George Costanza strategy, in realizing that every motivation possessed of Newt Gingrich is vile, venal, small, selfish, short-sighted, mean-spirited, half-baked, and superficially witless; that every single decision for the country he has ever made has been wrong; the nation should thus do the exact opposite of whatever it is that soft-serve shit-of-a-man proposes.

To do so (the opposite of everything Gingrich recommends) would see an American hegemony last for the next thousand years.

Well, fortunately, pretty much everyone who has a say on the subject thinks that returning to the gold standard is a monumentally stupid fucking idea. Of course, that should clue you in that it makes perfect sense to Republicans, along with a lot of other really cool ideas, like austerity (because that is working so well in Europe), and redefining rape as a legitimate act between a man and a woman.

You know, back in the late 80s/early 90s, business went through a quality fad. W Edward Demmings had had good success in Japan. All sorts of quality gurus popped up proclaiming that quality was the magic pixie dust that would turn around a moribund business environment. Nobody stopped to consider that maybe the Japanese success story through Dr. Demming's prescription might have been the combination of the two, or throw in a command economy, some combination of the three. But, pixie dust is like cocaine, and once you are on it, it's hard to kick the habit. I read a book by a self-proclaimed quality guru named Tom Peters. After about a chapter in, I realized the guy was full of horse-shit and that the quality fad was just that - a fad.

Interestingly, Newt Gingrich read the same book, and, being the supercilious, shallow, sloppy-thinking, little rectal orifice that he is, saw in it the basis for a popular revolution of government. Legend has it that Gingrich's meetings with freshman congress-people - complete with a Powerpoint presentation! - was a confused clusterfuck which had to be postponed again and again as word arrived that all of those quality methods Gingrich lauded... didn't work (hah!). My understanding is you would be hard-pressed to find a bigger Republican clown car of a Congress until... oh, the dipshittery of 2010.


  1. enter Ann Coulter who, surprise!, has another book..According to her only women vote democratic, all the men vote republican. She's in favor of revoking women's right to vote because they vote 'so stupidly, at least single women'. does she not realize that means her too?

    1. On the one hand, I'm worried that I am relying upon fellow Americans who can be so simplistic and naive as to buy into that tripe. It makes me think that human sacrifice to appease the gods cannot be far away in our future. Then again, I'm glad my fellow Americans are such chumps, which means, some day, when the shit hits the fan, it'll be that much easier for my civilized tribe to prevail over their primitive clan. Then again, I'd like to see that experiment played out right now. The Mason-Dixon line would seem a convenient demarcator to separate the smarts from the stupids.

  2. Gingrich is, indeed, a dog fucker of a troglodyte. With my apologies to dog fuckers.

    1. Reiterate what I said to ellen, but include the worry that somehow Gingrich has been presented within the national collective consciousness as some kind of intellectual.

      Um. He's not. He's a dumb-ass.