Monday, May 9, 2011

Judgment Day!

Mark your calendars for May 21st, 2011, because according to the latest Bible cypherin' and supersophistimetated calcee-lations, that's the date of the Rapture!

Now, my understanding is the Rapture is like a major G-force amusement park ride that yanks you clean out of your clothes and shoots you naked up into the sky. Those that remain enjoy 152 days of a "horror of horrors", culminating in the destruction of the universe on October 21st, 2011. The beauty of the whole project is that while the privileged sit up in Heaven enjoying the fruits of their virtue, they get to witness the torment of all those wicked people kept down by the weight of their sins.

"Schadenfreude". It's not just for Germans anymore.

I personally am looking forward to the destruction of the universe in hopes that it will be the grandest fireworks display EVER, or at least since the Big Bang. I'm hoping the Almighty will not disappoint with, you know, everything just disappearing in a poof with a magic word with no fanfare or grandiosity. I mean, if Me and My host of angels spent so much time and effort building something, I'd savor the chance to  really trash the living fuck out of it before I the shit-canned the project. Not even really sure why I'd put a 7000 thousand year old expiration date on the enterprise. I generally like to build things to last, but hey...

Hey, here's my idea of a good practical joke. Get everybody at work to bring a change of clothes of the exact wardrobe they are wearing that day. Find some excuse for the Rapture candidate to temporarily leave the office space. When they return they find nothing but the empty clothes and stuff dropped where it lay. Then the Elected One returns to find...

"Hey, I was supposed to... uh, oh".

I love that joke.


  1. OOHH - you are so bad... what a wonderful joke...though the 'candidate' might not think so...LOL... Thanks

  2. Hi Judy,

    You should hear what I have planned for the Buddhists - a hard crowd to prank.

  3. quite frankly I would be delighted for all those rapture folk to ascend and leave the world to us hedonists.

  4. Hey John ... Along a different line, but have you heard about the new developments in ECoG?... mind reading ... running a computer with just a brain hook up I think... you might find it interesting