Friday, April 15, 2011

Rand Paul: Horse's Ass

Admittedly my Buffoon Watch has been sporadic lately, otherwise I would have caught Rand Paul's Toilet Rant which occurred a month ago. But Rand Paul has been busy since then, so his buffoonery finally caught my attention.

Whether it is starring on John Stossel's show advocating the flat tax (hint which could apply to Paul Ryan as well:  buffing up Steve Forbes' smelly old turd will not put a shine on it), to threatening to filibuster the budget compromise, then deciding against that behavior as it might make him seem to be a petulant dipshit, to quoting from the Holy Book of Rand (Ayn Rand) during Senate hearings, (and yes, Randian Libertarianism and Objectivism are cults), to planning on attending a Tea Party rally against taxes in Bowling Green, Rand Paul never fails to put his foot in his mouth - after stepping into a big steaming pile of ideology. I know it is too easy to make fun of him but, I just can't resist.

So check out this amazingly silly toilet tirade of his from a month ago:

At around 48 seconds in where you get the good stuff. Rand's floaters just can't make it down the toilet. They just sit there in the bowl. Frankly, his toilets don't work and he blames the US government for that. Check out the woman behind him trying not to laugh.

I mean, let's just ignore the whole weird fucking interrogation about whether the Assistant Secretary of Energy is pro-choice or not, and whether the killing of fetuses somehow affects his toilet or light bulb performance (and yes, I get where he is trying to go with his fucked up logic), the fact of the matter is, Rand, there's this lever on the tank that you  have to pull. That makes water come out of the tank and flushes that shit right down the sewer.

I realize indoor plumbing is a new-fangled "notion" to you, but progress, Rand, progress. The idea that modern hygiene and sanitary conditions somehow restrict your choices is not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, I'd love to exercise my free choice to take a shit on your porch or in the driver's seat of your car, but see? Restricting unlimited choices is not always a bad thing.

And keep the pots and pans in the in the kitchen where they belong, not under the bed for your "night soil". Fucking hick.

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