Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The View from 600,000 Feet

Karl Rove is often criticized for providing political analysis as he flies over the country at 60,000 feet.

Which is to say, out of touch with reality. Fair enough. Considering his agenda was to put the Republican party in control of the nation in perpetuity, I guess we have to analyze him as that guy that fell over, took a shit, hit the Lifealert button, and is writhing in pain - at 60,000 feet.

I however, being little more forward looking (hopefully) would prefer a view from the ISS. (And actually, given the current condition of the world, and that NASA is investigating the possibility of a warp drive, would kind of more prefer the view from Alpha Centauri).

Mitt Romney's True Inner Soul
Actually, I'm guessing Mitt Romney would prefer the view from Alpha Centauri, or already does - seeing as he increasingly seems to be from Outer Space, kind of like Mormon Jesus. Some people thought, well, Romney's got a good heart right? Now, we know, this was no gaffe, this was his true allegiance to the upper half against the bottom. Romney has, in case you weren't paying attention, finally come out of the Montgomery J. Burns closet, gleefully rubbing his greedy little hands together.

Poor old Mitt Romney. On matters of immigration policy, could someone tell him how to say, in Spanish, "Put a fork in me. I'm done"? Someone really should shake this narcissist awake from his solipsist's nightmare and let him to go home to his elevator car castle. And while we are it, someone either tell Paul Ryan to put the PeeWee Herman red bow-tie and white shoes on, or give up on the bad impersonations already. Because It's Just Not Fucking Working Out For You.

Of course, after the circus clown car fiasco of the Republican primaries, pretty much any strategist who had his shit together must have realized there was no fucking way the country could vote for this mess of a ticket. And so, quite naturally, the challenge shifted towards Republican capture of the Senate.

Despite the candidate's best efforts, there's a good chance the Republicans will gain a majority in the Senate (which because of the current rules doesn't really mean shit), and retain the majority in the House. Many analysts have assumed that, with a good spanking in the presidential race, Republican politicians might return to some form of sanity. This is unrealistic.

When, like the Whigs of 1856, you've painted yourself into a demographic corner, you do exactly the Republicans have done after every defeat, which is dig in your heels, and double down again on batshit crazy. Which, since doubling down is a geometric progression, means the Republicans are now at least 32 times as batshit insane as they were in 1980. And if you will recall, they were already living in the 1890s under Reagan.

So, the word for the next four years is "same shit, different day", continued political kabuki theater, perhaps with any luck a Vietnamese underwater puppet show this time out.

Hurry up with that warp drive, you guys!  

No comments:

Post a Comment