Monday, April 19, 2010

The Secret to Life is...

...not to get too upset about stuff. The minute something is resolved, the next thing comes along, and then where are you? In a permanent state of pant shitting, that's where.

And speaking of pant shitting, the professionals are having a bunch of little celebrations. I'm talking about the Patriot's Day (April 19th) gun rights rallies being staged   at various points of the compass throughout our nation. 

Poor old April 19th. It's really suffered what with the recent Waco-Oklahoma City connection.  It used to be all about the Revolutionary War. You know, Shot heard Round the World and all that. Not anymore. And that poor old word "patriot" has suffered equally, what with the fishbelly-white, pampered, privileged, slovenly-fat, doughy-assed disgusting soft-bodies over at the Tea Party trying to confiscate it.

But the 2nd Amendment? In need of protection? Can you think of a more artificially manufactured non-issue? I mean, is there any problem at all, EVER, in obtaining or using a gun in this country? No. I don't think so. 

Now, let's be clear about this. I think there is a gun problem, but I am not anti-gun. I've shot pretty near everything from little pea-shooter John Hinckley .22 pistols up to AK-47s. A gun is like any other object, dangerous only in the hands of the dangerously stupid. I myself keep and bear arms. I'm a gun owner from way back.  Here's a fun little story to illustrate it.

A few years ago, I attended a party of a friend who's father-in-law was a homicide detective for the city of Chicago. I'm drinking beers, bullshitting with the guy in the kitchen, and I finally notice his holstered gun at his side.

"Is that a Beretta 9mm?", I asked him.

"Sure is", he replied, pulling the gun out. He paused a second. "Uh, you know how to use this?"

"Dude! I'm from Indiana!"

He handed it right over.

I can't say I was practically weaned on a firearm. That would be an exaggeration. But I was thoroughly and constantly trained in safe use. And that is my mightiest concern about guns. Especially hand guns.

Those in the know, know that you can maintain your marksmanship with rifles at an acceptable level with, shit, once-a-year sessions. But it takes constant practice to keep in shape with a handgun. Ask any cop or vet. 

And if people, especially that segment of the American populace (90% general populace, and 99.95% Tea Party "patriot"s) that I would not trust to wipe their own ass with two outspread hands, let alone a firearm, wish to own them, then they damn sure better know how to use them.

So, I really see no commonsense reason why firearms should not only be licensed, but the individuals who own them should be licensed as well.

I mean, crap, you prove you can operate a motor vehicle. Why not a gun? 


  1. Makes sense, but you know, you might abridge some dumb asses right to be a dumb ass. I've never shot a hand gun but I took riflery at summer camp and when I was older, my dad would take us down to the far end of Galveston Island on the beach (back when you could still do that) with a skeet slinger and we would shoot skeet with rifles and shotguns.

  2. Hear!! Hear!! I have my revolver on me at most times...