Reptile Hiss

I once thought about emigrating to Iceland, but then found out winter goes until June. Forget that.

I get enough winter here, and I'm pretty much sated now with everything winter. It's not so much the cold. I'm used to the cold. Cold doesn't bother me now, not even the single digit stuff.

It's the dry. Skin between my shoulder blades in constant itch. Why even lip balm isn't working anymore, and I'm peeling off these little dry potato chips from my lips. My cuticles are cracking, and since I work with my hands, I have to put the neosporin and band aids on the tips of my thumbs at night to heal them up.

Fortunately, I'm not one of those people who's skin cracks so bad everywhere they bleed. But I  have to use the Norwegian fisherman's lotion to combat the lizard scales on my arms and legs where it used to be mammal skin. I'm starting to look like one of my Permian period therapsid ancestors.

I  swear, if winter goes on much longer, I won't be able to greet people with much more than a reptile hiss.