Friday, November 12, 2010

Science Friday Redux

Gamma Ray Space Bubbles
NASA's Fermi gamma ray space telescope has discovered to massive bubbles that trace back two some type of activity at the center of our galaxy. Physicists suggest these bubbles are the result of two jets that emerged when matter was gobbled up by the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy. Judging from the size, shape, and velocity of the gas bubbles, scientists have managed to trace back the origin date of the event.

It was a Monday.

Which, coincidentally, is trash pickup day.

Masters of the Universe  

It has been suspected for some time that cats are perhaps the highest form of intelligence upon this planet. It has been confirmed today with the analysis of how cats drink milk. Apparently their ability to drink milk without splashing or spilling is due to the fact that they violate the law of gravity. This gravity-defying stunt is not actually a true violation of the physical laws of the universe. Rather, the cats have developed an elegantly subtle "lap and gulp" trick that involves the simultaneous solution of several highly complex multivariate nonlinear fluid dynamics equations which they do in their heads and on the fly. "Not even that Chinese supercomputer can do that", says an impressed science guy. In rebuttal, dogs demonstrated their wet dog shake. "Oh, I'm sorry, no" was the consensus response.

Brain scan of a brain
"Learning to read is good for the brain" suggest brain scan scientists at the Homer Simpson Institute for Obvious Experimental Results. Brain scans were taken of people who know how to read versus, oh, I don't know, how about people who have lived in a closet and were raised via a feeding tube through the keyhole. Scans indicated the brains of readers showed more vigorous responses to the written word than the brains of illiterates. "You wouldn't think we would be, but we were kind of blown away by this" said one psychologist.

In the tech realm, 3D glasses are expected on the market soon, from Oakley, Marchon, and Xpand. At approximately $120 a pop, these glasses will allow people to see the world in three dimensions, albeit, only in black and white.


And finally - in a followup to a previous Science Friday piece about the possibility that the Higgs Boson may look like Mister Peanut, but, like, really, really tiny - Mister Peanut has broken his silence after 80 years. "There is definitely no resemblance between myself and the Higgs Boson" read a statement from Mister Peanut. "I would rather think the Higgs Boson would look more like Mr. Natural, or perhaps Bluto, from the Popeye cartoon series". Neither Mr. Natural nor Bluto could be reached for comment.
Mr. Natural