Saturday, January 30, 2010

My inner dog

Note: This is the first entry under the Friday Happy Fun Time label (FHFT). Aren't you excited? I may, at some point, go through my prior entries and label them all. I might also, with the same probability, fold my clothes neatly and put them in the dresser, as opposed to just dressing out of the clothes basket as is my wont. I think you get the picture.

Last Friday was my four month anniversary of quitting smoking. I completely spaced it off. I smoked usually a pack a day for thirty-five years. My lungs are as clear as interstellar space. That was a pretty good run.

I'm told that it takes six months for all of your body's cells to be replaced, and so the nicotine taint is still with me.

I've not really experienced any extreme positive health effects yet. I chalk that up to maintaining a lifestyle of running, and fitness training throughout my life.

(Thanks, Coach Tower).

Oh, there are some noticeable changes. I don't end up in a coughing fit whenever I laugh now. And I can run a lot farther and faster before really start to suffer (and those who do it know that suffering is when the run actually starts). But, like I say, I'll wait for the six month anniversary before I can really make any judgements on the new lifestyle.

I quit cold turkey. It actually wasn't all that bad. Oh, it was bad, but I was able to make it through, so it wasn't all that bad.

I tried the patch before. Didn't work. I'd just tear of the patch, light one up, and get a REAL buzz going on. I was going to try the Chantix, until I heard one of the side effects "thoughts of suicide".
Now, that's a successful quit strategy.

Funny (funny strange) thing is, I still have cravings. That actually isn't all that funny, but what's strange is what triggers the cavings. I have some weird triggers.

Being around smokers is not a trigger. Sometimes it smells good. A lot of times it does not smell good. Smoke on other people, combined with their personal odors, is usually pretty stinky. I have a feeling, had I not ever started smoking, I'd have gotten laid a lot more than I did.

Drinking heavily is not a trigger. Nor is the reptilian torpor behavior after meals. Nor after sex. Well, not so bad that I can't resist it.

What's a trigger? The first one I noticed was simply getting into the car after grocery shopping. Oh, yeah! I guess that was a time to light up.

Another one? Standing outside in subzero temperatures. I guess the brain rightly assumed the only reason I was outside in that kind of weather was to smoke a ciggie.

It's like having a fucking dog in my head. Ready to play catch.

You know, we like to think of ourselves as rational entities with conscious control over our thoughts and desires.

But no, we are dumb, stupid animals ruled by habit and impulse.

No, we are obviously of two minds.

1 comment:

  1. You've kicked the first habit...the nicotine. the second habit, the activity of smoking, the whole hand/mouth thing is harder, hence your triggers.