Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Chimp Mode

This may sound callous, but I've got a bet going on that 1) there is an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombing case before the weekend is out, and 2) it'll be a redneck/hillbilly/conservative/libertarian type terrorist that did it. Why? These sanctimonious control freak types love to talk about liberty, but it's liberty on their terms, for and about them, and they seem so intent upon forcing their vision of America upon the rest of us. Why can't they just stay at home and furiously masturbate over their grand vision? Save us all some trouble.

Yes, once upon a time, the hippies did that type of thing. For a brief period. But for the majority of this nation's history, it's been the right wing hillbilly rednecks that have been the greatest enemies of democracy. All you need do is read to figure that out.

In any case, long ago, when I was working on something, I would recognize when I entered into chimp mode. Chimp mode is when you start using anything within reach as a hammer - even if a hammer is available. Wrench within reach?Screwdriver within reach? Use it as a hammer. (It doesn't matter that there's a hammer right fucking there to hand).

That's one example, but you get the idea.

Suddenly, we go from being thoughtful tool managers to apes. That's when you need to take a break.

I've noticed here at the college that you cannot find one single piece of equipment or tool that ins't fucked up in some fashion. You see the same thing in grade and high school, but that's generally just vandalism. Kids are terrorized into either not touching stuff, or asking permission. Not always. THey enter chimp mode quite easily.

But it takes an adult to really fuck up something. And the thing is, they usually think they are being quite clever when they abuse a tool. They have a problem. They're too stupid to work it out properly, but they figure a workaround which solves their immediate problem, and fucks up the technology they chose to abuse to solve it.

I mean, it's even stuff like the handle a bucket has been cracked because some clever fucking chimp used it as a lever or a shim or a spacer and they've ruined what it your wildest imaginations you would never expect to possibly be fucked up. How did they do that? How did they manage to strip out a part that is internal and cannot be removed save through superhuman animal tenacity?

Seriously, it's like a god-damned monkey house around here.

1 comment:

  1. lol@chimp-mode - takes my favorite tag "killer-ape" to a whole new level of day-to-day practical application.